“Show up here in a week”, she said handing me a map with a big x on it. “Arrive at 9AM”, saying so with a smile. “It will be fun”. Then, she left without saying another word.
It was only until I turned the corner that morning that I realized what I was getting myself into. It was a protest rally against her own son, Mo. Everything was already set up when I got there. Banners and streamers were already unfurled and staked to the ground like the flag on the moon. One said, “YOU KILLED MY PET SNAKE, WEINER”. Another said “HONK IF YOU HATE MO”. And yet many had the same aconyms – “MOMABAMO – Mo’s Mom Against Bad Mo”.
She threw me a red shirt with the acronyms “MOMABAMO on it and said, “hurry up and pick up a placard. I expect Mo and his friends to organize a counter protest pretty soon”. As soon as she said that, there were three Black SUV’s all with limo tint that arrived across the street. A group of people all dressed in black with white acronyms that said “MAAM” on their shirts exited the SUV's. All were wearing dark sunglasses. Within moments there were streamers and banners staked to the ground on the other side of the street. Messages varied from the organization’s name “MAAM – Mo Against Angry Mom” to “HONK IF YOU HATE YOUR MOM”.
A major street that ran between the two camps set the demarcation line. On our camp were Mo’s Mom and I clad in red surrounded by banners of the same color. On the other side, there was Mo, the two sisters and thirteen men known as "Mo’s 13 Disciples" in black. It was MAAM in black and MOMABAMO in red. The first salvo came from Mo’s Mom when she brought out a loudspeaker and started yelling the words:
“You killed my pet snake, Weiner
You had your friend do an operation,
I thought he was a snake surgeon.
His only experience was dissecting a frog.
He gave my Weiner a hump like a Camel
Because you said, he was cheaper
You killed my pet snake, Weiner.”
Who killed Weiner?
Mo did!
All morning, the noise barrage was amazingly one sided. The MAAM camp were all just standing with their placards. So, all the time we were there only Mo’s Mom’s amplified voice could be heard – reverberating, taunting and annoying the other camp. Her message did not vary one bit, as if drilling it into their skulls. She must have said it a million times that everyone there will sleep that night listening to her booming words in their dreams. I could tell it was getting to their nerves. Their faces where sullen, somber and sagging, as if they had come to compete at something to only realize they were way out of their league.
Then, at 11AM, she decided it was time to leave. “Ok, time to go. No point rubbing this in anymore. They’re a bunch of amateurs. You don’t live being a mother to someone like Mo and not earn a little edge. I was able to get my message across”.
Indeed, the message was clear and crystallized by one word – AMATEURS.
(Robert's Note: My apologies for the late publication of this month's installment of the Mo Tales Series. Developments from yesterday's hearing for Lacambra vs. Glass et al inspired this entry when Judge Banks set the Trial Date for April 13, 2009. In commemoration, a new cast of characters - "Mo's 13 Disciples" is being introduced in this entry. Watch for their antics in the future.)
