It all began with a telephone message: “Hey, dude. It’s me Rich. I just got this new computer program that teaches me how to become a famous DJ, meet me at the “Oh Baby Club” where I will be broadcasting live for my internet broadcast next Friday. I’ll be playing some 80’s tunes that I know you’ll really love. Don’t call me, just be there at 9PM sharp!”
I was never a club going fanatic myself but was intensely curious about the prospects of watching my friend Rich take command of an entire dance floor. I arrived a little earlier to make sure I get a good vantage point to witness this spectacle we call “Rich”. There was a voice on the loudspeaker working the crowd. I peered over the large crowd that had already gathered to see who was at the DJ box. It was Rich wearing his hair like an 80’s rocker stiffend by hairspray. The only difference was his voice. It was deeper and more animated – he sounded like a really cool black man.
DJ RICH: Ah ha, all ya’ll beautiful ladies out there on the floor. I‘ll give you all the funky grooves you can handle tonight. All I want is that you give it to me. I want to see all the bodies moving and sweating and working on the dance floor. I want the temperature rising in here. Do you hear me baby? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh). I said, Do you hear me baby? (Crowd: Yeaaaah) Good, coz Rick James wants you to - Give it to me, baby. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff. Give it to me. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff.” Click to see video
DJ RICH: All right I see you out there Madonna (pointing to an 80’s Madonna look alike). This was back in the day before you went British on me. Aha, I hear you. Well, we like it when we go United Nations here. Are there any Mexican ladies in the house? (Crowd: Yeaaah) Cool ‘coz I got something for all you beautiful muchachas in the house. Even when things go bad, don’t you ever leave me baby! Coz it will drive me crazy. Like Madonna said don’t even think of crossing the - “Borderline … feels like I’m going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushin’ my love over the borderline. Click to see video
DJ RICH: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I wanna know if we have some waitresses in the house tonight. (Crowd: Yeaaahh) Cool 'coz I have a song for you ladies for those late nights that I just need a kick in the pants to wake up because of my two jobs. I want ‘ma coffee black and sweet baby. Do you catch my drift, baby? I want you to sweeten me up – so sweet that you’ll never wanna leave. Like Def Leppard said - Pour some sugar on me. Ooh in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me. C’mon fire me up. Pour some sugar onme. Oh I can’t get enough. Click to see video
DJ RICH: Baby, you know I'll marry you someday. Its just that I haven’t saved up enough money. You know how it is – my two jobs aint cuttin’ it and Christmas is two weeks away. But you know I love you and you know I’ll never leave you. That’s really what I'm about. Just like Rick Astley said “I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. Click to see video
DJ RICH: We are going to slow it down a little. I want you all here in the dance floor to be honest with me - so honest that it hurts. Those who are late on their rent and may get evicted, raise your hands (Everyone on the floor raised their hands up). This is for all the hard working people just trying to get ahead. When your lady gets the notice from the landlord saying they will litigate, I want you to think of this songs 'coz even when the times are bad there is always something good like your lady. But you know you’ll get through the hard times. And just tell your lady to stay cool and not leave you because it will mess you up good. Like Bobby McFerrin said – “the landlord said the rent is late and he might have to litigate, Don’t worry. Be Happy.” Click to view video
DJ RICH: Hey all of you ladies out there. Do you like yelling? (Crowd: Yeaaahh) Hey baby, do you like your man good? (Crowd:Yeaaahh) Do you want him bad? (Crowd: Yeaahh) How about, do you like your man bad like a Rebel? Baby, I know you’ll get all sorts of crazy stuff because yo man’s a DJ. All these ladies all around me all the time. But let me tell you something, when you knock on my door, you know you’re the only one for me baby. I ain't good when you ain't bad to me and I like that nasty stuff when you’re a rebel to me ‘coz like Billy Idol said – in the midnight hour you cried more, more, more. Click to view video
DJ RICH: Whoooowwweeyy I am sweating here tonight. I must be out of shape. I want to know if you like to workout baby? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) You know baby, we’ll have to do a lot of working out baby? We’ll do everything in the world together. And whatever it is that we’ll find in the future, we’ll crash into it together. Sometimes we’ll run into it together. But most of the time well jump into it together. I want you to know that I am your biggest fan and you are my idol – so come on, jump for me baby. You know you’re my idol. (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) Click to view video
TO BE CONTINUED
I was never a club going fanatic myself but was intensely curious about the prospects of watching my friend Rich take command of an entire dance floor. I arrived a little earlier to make sure I get a good vantage point to witness this spectacle we call “Rich”. There was a voice on the loudspeaker working the crowd. I peered over the large crowd that had already gathered to see who was at the DJ box. It was Rich wearing his hair like an 80’s rocker stiffend by hairspray. The only difference was his voice. It was deeper and more animated – he sounded like a really cool black man.
DJ RICH: Ah ha, all ya’ll beautiful ladies out there on the floor. I‘ll give you all the funky grooves you can handle tonight. All I want is that you give it to me. I want to see all the bodies moving and sweating and working on the dance floor. I want the temperature rising in here. Do you hear me baby? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh). I said, Do you hear me baby? (Crowd: Yeaaaah) Good, coz Rick James wants you to - Give it to me, baby. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff. Give it to me. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff.” Click to see video
DJ RICH: All right I see you out there Madonna (pointing to an 80’s Madonna look alike). This was back in the day before you went British on me. Aha, I hear you. Well, we like it when we go United Nations here. Are there any Mexican ladies in the house? (Crowd: Yeaaah) Cool ‘coz I got something for all you beautiful muchachas in the house. Even when things go bad, don’t you ever leave me baby! Coz it will drive me crazy. Like Madonna said don’t even think of crossing the - “Borderline … feels like I’m going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushin’ my love over the borderline. Click to see video
DJ RICH: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I wanna know if we have some waitresses in the house tonight. (Crowd: Yeaaahh) Cool 'coz I have a song for you ladies for those late nights that I just need a kick in the pants to wake up because of my two jobs. I want ‘ma coffee black and sweet baby. Do you catch my drift, baby? I want you to sweeten me up – so sweet that you’ll never wanna leave. Like Def Leppard said - Pour some sugar on me. Ooh in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me. C’mon fire me up. Pour some sugar onme. Oh I can’t get enough. Click to see video
DJ RICH: Baby, you know I'll marry you someday. Its just that I haven’t saved up enough money. You know how it is – my two jobs aint cuttin’ it and Christmas is two weeks away. But you know I love you and you know I’ll never leave you. That’s really what I'm about. Just like Rick Astley said “I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. Click to see video
DJ RICH: We are going to slow it down a little. I want you all here in the dance floor to be honest with me - so honest that it hurts. Those who are late on their rent and may get evicted, raise your hands (Everyone on the floor raised their hands up). This is for all the hard working people just trying to get ahead. When your lady gets the notice from the landlord saying they will litigate, I want you to think of this songs 'coz even when the times are bad there is always something good like your lady. But you know you’ll get through the hard times. And just tell your lady to stay cool and not leave you because it will mess you up good. Like Bobby McFerrin said – “the landlord said the rent is late and he might have to litigate, Don’t worry. Be Happy.” Click to view video
DJ RICH: Hey all of you ladies out there. Do you like yelling? (Crowd: Yeaaahh) Hey baby, do you like your man good? (Crowd:Yeaaahh) Do you want him bad? (Crowd: Yeaahh) How about, do you like your man bad like a Rebel? Baby, I know you’ll get all sorts of crazy stuff because yo man’s a DJ. All these ladies all around me all the time. But let me tell you something, when you knock on my door, you know you’re the only one for me baby. I ain't good when you ain't bad to me and I like that nasty stuff when you’re a rebel to me ‘coz like Billy Idol said – in the midnight hour you cried more, more, more. Click to view video
DJ RICH: Whoooowwweeyy I am sweating here tonight. I must be out of shape. I want to know if you like to workout baby? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) You know baby, we’ll have to do a lot of working out baby? We’ll do everything in the world together. And whatever it is that we’ll find in the future, we’ll crash into it together. Sometimes we’ll run into it together. But most of the time well jump into it together. I want you to know that I am your biggest fan and you are my idol – so come on, jump for me baby. You know you’re my idol. (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) Click to view video
TO BE CONTINUED
