Yestradamus 040709

The trees abound with pine needles howl with the wind
A chariot decrepit from use must carry the weary one
A fight he continues on grounds perched high
Holding the reigns of an assault from a legion of lions

The word pine needles remind me of this one operation I was involved in many years ago. I was hired on to infiltrate this company that was owned by a very secretive family. They were so secretive, in fact, that any candidate who wishes to work for the company had to go through a rigorous vetting process that not only takes into consideration the person’s abilities but also the level of loyalty. They considered all the past dealings with acquaintances, friends, relatives that for me to get in the door for the interview, one of the employees had to be a childhood friend. It was that kind of selectiveness that made my employer wonder what they were doing and why nobody ever leaves the company. You basically have to die to leave their employ.

Because we knew that there wasn’t a chance that I could get in the company, my employers thought that I could try to date the only daughter who wasn’t married. So, my cover was a wealthy entrepreneur – a tech nouveau riche – with Gianni Versace glasses and Dolce Gabbana clothing. To keep up the appearance, I was given a sizable expense account that I was just laying money here and there like it was a gallon of cheap paint. The only draw back was I had to do away with the military attitude and turn into a wheeler and dealer – a smiling, back slapping salesman.

The woman turned out to be a spoiled brat and had the notion that she can have anything that she wants without even putting in the effort. The transformation was difficult enough that I was falling back into my old patterns. On one date, I managed to finagle out of a huge socialite party and talked her into a country outing instead. I needed to be out in nature. I was running out of things to say that I had to mention some of my adventures in the jungles disguised as something else. I told her that I was once ship wrecked and had to subsist on coconuts for water. “I can climb a coconut tree with such ease that I was practically a native”. She looked around and pointed to a tree. “Very, well. Show me, then”. There is an award waiting for my little native man.”, she said with a smile. I caught myself and had to backtrack. “First of all that isn’t a coconut tree and second of all I need a knife to make notches on the trunk”. Without saying a word, she looked at me, pointed to another tree that was a little more mature than the one she pointed to earlier”. I looked at it and knew that if I got up there and something happens to me, nobody is ever going to find me.

If you haven’t ever noticed, the pine tree does not have leaves. It has needles. Depending on certain conditions, going up is no problem but coming down is like sliding on a fireman’s pole with tiny spikes on it.  I was kicking myself for having a big mouth but had to comply. There was nothing worse than blowing my cover and losing that huge expense account, the Ferrari, the house on the beach and all the trappings. But here I was trapped, in a weird way.

After months of putting lotion on my hands to get rid of the massive calluses that I had accumulated over the years, my hands were soft as a baby’s behind. That was part of the cover. I had a pair of rich man’s hands. The moment I touched the rough bark of that tree a shot of electricity went through my body with such jolt that my mind screamed a yelping ouchiewawawoowie ….

(Analyst 147X)
To be continued.