Rich left a message on my cell phone. He said, “Hey, it’s me. I was invited back to the Oh Baby Club to spin more 80's tunes this weekend. Come by if you can”. Needless to say, I found myself hanging out and watching Rich spin some tunes. Admittedly, he has gotten better, enough to become a crowd favorite. The ladies have taken a liking to him and his DJ booth is now oozing with women. But, knowing him, there isn’t anything in this world that could as much as interrupt the amorous crooning aimed at his Nina.
DJ RICH: All right! Let’s make some noise around here! I want to see the building shaking! I want the walls moving and I want the tiles on the floor rising. (Raucous noise from the crowd). That’s what I’m talking about. Yeaaaahhh! It’s been a tough year. And what I want to know is this, Do we have people who are just barely making it from day to day. (Crowd: Yeaahhh) That’s what I thought. Welcome to the club! Sometimes I think to myself, I don’t know how I’m going to make it. But I need to make it just one more day. That’s right, one more day. Then, I get to think ‘bout my baby and ain’t nothing in this world that can bother me. She is so beautiful and so fine that I just know when I finally end up with her, I’ll be so good to my baby that aint nothin’ she’ll be able to do but love me. That’s right. And all I want from my baby is just another day …
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DJ RICH: Do we have any hairdressers in the house tonight? (Crowd: Yeaahhh) Just look at me, baby. I am so good looking that sometimes when I look in the mirror, my reflection does a double take and he goes – Man, you so good looking, you make me look real bad. So, I says, wait ‘till I get home to my baby and take a shower. I’ma blow-dry my hair up and you’ll be green with envy. See, my baby makes me feel special. I know she’s thinking ‘bout me right this moment, wherever she is. So when I get ready to go out to take her out, the mirror tells me I’m perfect. I’m just about to brush my hair and he’ll scream at me, “Don’t touch that. What? What do you mean? How ‘bout this? “Nope can’t touch that either” Why not? Trust me, you really don’t want to touch that!
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DJ RICH: When we go on a date and stay out late, my baby usually sleeps over at my place. Whenever she does, she usually cooks breakfast in the morning. One morning, she opened the fridge to get some eggs, it was all gone on account of that “omelette” I made me for dinner a couple of nights before. She looks at me and says, baby you’d better tell me how many eggs your gonna take ‘cause I have to plan the menu. Then, she gave me a kiss and sent me to the store. On the way back, I had an argument with a man at the corner. We were talking about something and all of a sudden he says, “What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?” So I say’s “Did I say anything about China, man? Wait a minute, are you Chinese?”, I asked the guy. He looked me in the eyes and said, No, I’m from Vienna. So I said, I should have known, man. You’re a damn Viennamese! But I was running late and so I told him, this conversation is going nowhere and I have my baby waiting for me at home. She just sent me to the store to get some eggs and now you’re wasting my time! Why you do me like that? He said, No man, time wasting is a second hand emotion. This is ‘bout love and everything it’s got to do with it.
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DJ RICH: Do we have any people from out of town here in the house, tonight? (Crowd: Yeahhh) Cool, baby. There was a time when my baby was living in the east coast and I was living in the west coast. The DJ action in the left coast was just really happenin’ for me, you know. So every once in a while I’ll get a text from her saying “Hey Mr. Dj, are the ladies keepin’ you busy?” So I’d send her a text saying, “Ain’t no ladies but you, baby.” She would send me a smiley face. So I sez, baby you know how it is. I’ve been saving up some money so I can send you tickets. I have a choice for you. If you want to see your man right now, I can send you Greyhound tickets. ‘Coz I have the money in my piggy bank right now. If you want to fly on a plane it will take me six months to save up that money. What’s it gonna be, baby? Next thing I know, I hear a click. She hung up on me. So I called the telephone man to tell him something happened to the phone. He says, Ain’t nothing wrong with the phone. Are you sure ain’t nothin’ wrong with what you said to your lady? For about a week I wasn’t eating, drinkin’ or sleeping. I was in real bad shape, until out of nowhere she just showed up at my house. I’m glad she did ‘coz even the phone man was getting tired of me. Every time I called him this is what I said.
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: All right, y’all. I wanna make a confession. But before I begin, I want to know something. Do we have any Catholic Priests in the house? (Crowd: We have the Pope!) Wait a minute. You mean to say, we have the Pope in the house? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) Wow. Il Papa, the man himself? We are honored, your Popeship. Well Pope, here’s my confession. I have a bad addiction to medication. I got it real bad. When I wake up in the morning I got to have it. In the afternoon I got to have it. And right before I sleep I gotta have it. It’s an addiction that has no compare ‘coz like all the stuff out there, this one has no bad side effects. It ain’t no upper. It ain’t no downer, either. It’s just my baby. I have to tell you Pope. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m gonna have to face it I’m addicted to love ….
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: Alright. Was that hot, or what? Proud Mary herself. Miss Tina Turner. Yeaahhhh. All right we need more noise around here. This ain’t the time to relax y’all (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) No way. We have lots of things to do. I want you all to spend your shoes on the dance floor tonight and come Monday you’ll have to take your shoes to the shoe repair shop. When you get there, I want the Korean repair lady to say – “Yo shu broken. No way repair. Yu need nu shuz! By the time you leave here tonight, I want y’all all walking barefooted cause your shoes are busted up. Do you hear me? I said, Do you hear me? (Crowd: Yeaahhh) That’s right! I want y’all to sweat. If you want to be on my dance floor, y’all have to be able to last for hours at a time ‘coz I don’t want you to stop. You hear me baby? It’s like a marathon over here. We are gonna run long and we are gonna run fast. We are going to go very far together ‘coz you know baby you and I were born to run …
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: It’s always fun to see old stuff being recycled and embraced by the new generation. I was standing at a bus stop and saw a young kid wearing Ray Ban Wayfarers. I was thinking, Man, talk about old school. Too bad I threw mine away because I thought it has gone out of fashion in the 80’s. I had it in two colors – turtle skin and black – with the dingy white jacket. Every time I wore those things I felt like I’m on Miami Vice – stylin’. Those were the days. Every day was summer. When my baby finally marries me, I wanna get her a little house on the beach, nothing more than we need, just enough for the family. So, I have a treat for you baby ‘coz I want you to start feeling summer even though it’s gonna be Christmas real soon.
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: Alright, we’re gonna turn down the lights and slow things down a little bit so you can get close with each other. I want you guys to be close enough that you can smell your ladies’ perfume. See, she smells good doesn’t she? That’s worth the admission you paid for right there. I’ma serenade my baby now. This is for you baby ‘coz I don’t think you know what you’re getting into. Almost everything I ever did never came out right. If I ever ran for office, I wouldn’t even get my own mother’s vote. If a dog can vote, even my dog wouldn’t vote for me. That's until I met you. The good thing is that the only vote that matters is yours. I know I’m not the brightest tool in the shed but I never give up. I will climb any mountain, cross any ocean, and walk through a forest fire for you. That's because I don’t have a car. But you don’t mind, right baby? It doesn’t matter how I get there, right? You know it. I’ll always be there for you, whatever the odds.
DJ RICH: All right! Let’s make some noise around here! I want to see the building shaking! I want the walls moving and I want the tiles on the floor rising. (Raucous noise from the crowd). That’s what I’m talking about. Yeaaaahhh! It’s been a tough year. And what I want to know is this, Do we have people who are just barely making it from day to day. (Crowd: Yeaahhh) That’s what I thought. Welcome to the club! Sometimes I think to myself, I don’t know how I’m going to make it. But I need to make it just one more day. That’s right, one more day. Then, I get to think ‘bout my baby and ain’t nothing in this world that can bother me. She is so beautiful and so fine that I just know when I finally end up with her, I’ll be so good to my baby that aint nothin’ she’ll be able to do but love me. That’s right. And all I want from my baby is just another day …
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: Do we have any hairdressers in the house tonight? (Crowd: Yeaahhh) Just look at me, baby. I am so good looking that sometimes when I look in the mirror, my reflection does a double take and he goes – Man, you so good looking, you make me look real bad. So, I says, wait ‘till I get home to my baby and take a shower. I’ma blow-dry my hair up and you’ll be green with envy. See, my baby makes me feel special. I know she’s thinking ‘bout me right this moment, wherever she is. So when I get ready to go out to take her out, the mirror tells me I’m perfect. I’m just about to brush my hair and he’ll scream at me, “Don’t touch that. What? What do you mean? How ‘bout this? “Nope can’t touch that either” Why not? Trust me, you really don’t want to touch that!
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: When we go on a date and stay out late, my baby usually sleeps over at my place. Whenever she does, she usually cooks breakfast in the morning. One morning, she opened the fridge to get some eggs, it was all gone on account of that “omelette” I made me for dinner a couple of nights before. She looks at me and says, baby you’d better tell me how many eggs your gonna take ‘cause I have to plan the menu. Then, she gave me a kiss and sent me to the store. On the way back, I had an argument with a man at the corner. We were talking about something and all of a sudden he says, “What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?” So I say’s “Did I say anything about China, man? Wait a minute, are you Chinese?”, I asked the guy. He looked me in the eyes and said, No, I’m from Vienna. So I said, I should have known, man. You’re a damn Viennamese! But I was running late and so I told him, this conversation is going nowhere and I have my baby waiting for me at home. She just sent me to the store to get some eggs and now you’re wasting my time! Why you do me like that? He said, No man, time wasting is a second hand emotion. This is ‘bout love and everything it’s got to do with it.
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: Do we have any people from out of town here in the house, tonight? (Crowd: Yeahhh) Cool, baby. There was a time when my baby was living in the east coast and I was living in the west coast. The DJ action in the left coast was just really happenin’ for me, you know. So every once in a while I’ll get a text from her saying “Hey Mr. Dj, are the ladies keepin’ you busy?” So I’d send her a text saying, “Ain’t no ladies but you, baby.” She would send me a smiley face. So I sez, baby you know how it is. I’ve been saving up some money so I can send you tickets. I have a choice for you. If you want to see your man right now, I can send you Greyhound tickets. ‘Coz I have the money in my piggy bank right now. If you want to fly on a plane it will take me six months to save up that money. What’s it gonna be, baby? Next thing I know, I hear a click. She hung up on me. So I called the telephone man to tell him something happened to the phone. He says, Ain’t nothing wrong with the phone. Are you sure ain’t nothin’ wrong with what you said to your lady? For about a week I wasn’t eating, drinkin’ or sleeping. I was in real bad shape, until out of nowhere she just showed up at my house. I’m glad she did ‘coz even the phone man was getting tired of me. Every time I called him this is what I said.
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: All right, y’all. I wanna make a confession. But before I begin, I want to know something. Do we have any Catholic Priests in the house? (Crowd: We have the Pope!) Wait a minute. You mean to say, we have the Pope in the house? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) Wow. Il Papa, the man himself? We are honored, your Popeship. Well Pope, here’s my confession. I have a bad addiction to medication. I got it real bad. When I wake up in the morning I got to have it. In the afternoon I got to have it. And right before I sleep I gotta have it. It’s an addiction that has no compare ‘coz like all the stuff out there, this one has no bad side effects. It ain’t no upper. It ain’t no downer, either. It’s just my baby. I have to tell you Pope. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m gonna have to face it I’m addicted to love ….
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: Alright. Was that hot, or what? Proud Mary herself. Miss Tina Turner. Yeaahhhh. All right we need more noise around here. This ain’t the time to relax y’all (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) No way. We have lots of things to do. I want you all to spend your shoes on the dance floor tonight and come Monday you’ll have to take your shoes to the shoe repair shop. When you get there, I want the Korean repair lady to say – “Yo shu broken. No way repair. Yu need nu shuz! By the time you leave here tonight, I want y’all all walking barefooted cause your shoes are busted up. Do you hear me? I said, Do you hear me? (Crowd: Yeaahhh) That’s right! I want y’all to sweat. If you want to be on my dance floor, y’all have to be able to last for hours at a time ‘coz I don’t want you to stop. You hear me baby? It’s like a marathon over here. We are gonna run long and we are gonna run fast. We are going to go very far together ‘coz you know baby you and I were born to run …
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: It’s always fun to see old stuff being recycled and embraced by the new generation. I was standing at a bus stop and saw a young kid wearing Ray Ban Wayfarers. I was thinking, Man, talk about old school. Too bad I threw mine away because I thought it has gone out of fashion in the 80’s. I had it in two colors – turtle skin and black – with the dingy white jacket. Every time I wore those things I felt like I’m on Miami Vice – stylin’. Those were the days. Every day was summer. When my baby finally marries me, I wanna get her a little house on the beach, nothing more than we need, just enough for the family. So, I have a treat for you baby ‘coz I want you to start feeling summer even though it’s gonna be Christmas real soon.
CLICK TO LISTEN
DJ RICH: Alright, we’re gonna turn down the lights and slow things down a little bit so you can get close with each other. I want you guys to be close enough that you can smell your ladies’ perfume. See, she smells good doesn’t she? That’s worth the admission you paid for right there. I’ma serenade my baby now. This is for you baby ‘coz I don’t think you know what you’re getting into. Almost everything I ever did never came out right. If I ever ran for office, I wouldn’t even get my own mother’s vote. If a dog can vote, even my dog wouldn’t vote for me. That's until I met you. The good thing is that the only vote that matters is yours. I know I’m not the brightest tool in the shed but I never give up. I will climb any mountain, cross any ocean, and walk through a forest fire for you. That's because I don’t have a car. But you don’t mind, right baby? It doesn’t matter how I get there, right? You know it. I’ll always be there for you, whatever the odds.
(WARNING: HIGH DECIBEL CONTENT. LOWER VOLUME BEFORE CLICKING)
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DJ RICH: Now for the final song this evening. I want y’all to chant for me. RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHE, RICHE …. (Crowd: RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHIE …..) Baby, if you’re hearing this, our love will be the greatest of all time ….
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DJ RICH: Now for the final song this evening. I want y’all to chant for me. RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHE, RICHE …. (Crowd: RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHIE, RICHIE …..) Baby, if you’re hearing this, our love will be the greatest of all time ….
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