CONTINUED FROM YO9O709
That afternoon, I found myself looking at the face of the most beautiful woman that I have ever known. I was braving what I knew will amount to severe punishment for violating certain relationship rules. People enter into relationships expecting half of your life would be brought to the table. I’ve gone on dates with women who neglect to introduce you to people they know. Not that they would be embarrassed to be seen with you but because they lack social graces. When you are in a relationship, omission of facts and failure to report things like when your face got rearranged a little bit is a major infraction.
In a relationship, there are many things that are expected – sharing your day, sharing your time, sharing this and sharing that. The word sharing is especially critical because if you exile the first syllable – “sha” – you end up with just the word “ring”. To a woman, a ring is not everything. But within the context of your relationship with her, it counts for much. It frames what kind of a relationship you both share. It’s a mystery to men that they will never figure out but wholly intuitive to a woman. You can be the stupidest moron on the face of the earth but when you whip out that ring, it’s like every unremarkable thing, every monstrosity that you’ve ever committed before is completely erased. This is the moment the refresh button is pressed. It was that kind of a meeting. I had to prove to her that my love for her is pure.
It was a choice of many things – a friendship ring, a boyfriend/girlfriend anniversary ring, an engagement ring, a wedding ring or simply a make up ring - all of which were being considered so I can continue on my mission and break up what has now proved to be a “Pot Ring”. The important thing about going undercover is that you must commit to symmetry. You have to dress the part and act the part. I was going undercover as a “high-school student” so that means I live on a budget given to me by my undercover parents. It is called an “allowance”, which really is a joke. And based on that mere pittance, the only ring that I can afford was the give-away inside a “Cracker Jack”. None of which would even come close to looking like a real thing making the situation even worse. Given those sets of facts, the punishment had to come in a different form – something that she’ll have to dish out to me and which I in turn will accept in a gracious manner.
“What are you doing tomorrow?”, she asked. “I have to meet with some friends, why?”, I responded.” She looked at me and said, “Clear your calendar this entire week for me. You will pick me up from my house and we will go to school together. You will have lunch with me and after school you will come with me”. Can I at least show my independence by throwing in a voice of dissent? I asked. “No”, she said. “Can you at least give me a hint of what my punishment might be?”. "I’ve volunteered for the “Annual Thanksgiving Day Feeding for the Homeless” sponsored by my cheer club. I’ve been asked to do the food shopping. I was also asked to do the shopping for the gifts that we will give away on Christmas about a month after Thanksgiving. I will need someone to help me with all the groceries.", she replied.
My fears were not realized. It wasn’t punishment at all. But, under normal circumstances, any man, much less a high school student is the last person you’d want making shopping rounds with you. Scores of people develop mild to severe depression during Christmas because they ended up with thoughtless and impersonal gifts that were hastily culled from the department store bargain bins - the miniature tool set in a wooden case, the matching his and hers toothbrush and toothpaste set, the picture frame ensemble, the perfume and soap combo in a stylish bag …
TO BE CONTINUED
(Analyst X147)
