The New Look

We have just given the Robert’s Justice site a new look. What the revamped appearance does not show is the technology behind the website. In the months previous, we have added other features such as picture, video posts and others. As we learn more about the other uses of this powerful medium, the more we discover new ways to create a unique experience for our readers. 
 
In the coming months, new technologies will be acquired and incorporated to create a new kind of media that merges information, entertainment and advocacy of issues that are important to our times. In many ways, my experiences bring into focus an unfortunate breach in our social support systems. Because of a confluence of circumstances, I was unable to keep up my child support payments. As an enforcement action, the Child Support Services suspended my California Real Estate Salesperson’s License in March 2008 and have recently threatened to revoke my CA Driver’s License on the 5th of April 2009. Both licenses are critically important to my livelihood and my ability to care for my children, wholly contradicting their obligation to their constituents - to protect America’s children. After my way of earning a living was taken away by our government, the most that I was able to arrange in terms of financial support from them was three month’s worth of food stamps at $162.00 per month, eliciting an old Reagan dictum, “I am very suspicious of big government”.
 
If I am not able to solve these issues that currently face me – most of which are machinations of antiquated laws - there cannot be a source of financial support for my children, much less a comfortable retirement in the future. So, as the days pass, it becomes ever clearer that I am actually solving the problem of social security at a micro level. The more that I immerse myself in this problem the more convinced I am that Social Security is best solved in the private sector away from the incompetent hands of government(s).
 
One important element of that puzzle is the body of laws that we are subject to. Just about every important event in a person’s life intersects with the law. If a person dies, there is probate. If there is a divorce, there is family law. If there is an issue on taxation, there are tax laws, so on and so forth. If not attended to appropriately, any of which could bring about an individual’s financial downfall.
 
As of this message, anything that I posses, or wish to own in the future can be taken away from me by creditors, government agencies and others who have yet to make themselves known. So, by New Year, I am starting in the financial red and will scratch and fight my way out of a very deep financial hole and work to get back what I used to have and more.  Much of the battleground will be the laws that we have in the books. It is my belief that we cannot have true justice unless we are assured of three things – security from harm (personal and property), social justice and a fair opportunity for financial independence. We don’t always have the answers to all these complex questions, but if we must we’ll invent the new ways of doing things. It cannot be business as usual.
 
All the best,
 
Robert Lacambra
December 31, 2009
Aliso Viejo, California

Christmas Cheer

Christmas is one of the most important days of the year for me. When I look back and remember growing up the last few weeks of the year that mark the Christmas Season, I end up with nostalgic feelings - of home made food, laughter and familial cheer. Music was always an important part of that experience. In those days music was heard from vinyl records, with the sounds of dust, scratches and all. It made me realize how long ago it has been when I remember that my children have never even heard music played from a vinyl record. Their generation took a huge technological leap and are now acquiring music by MP3 downloads. So, I thought it would be fun to find the digitally remastered version of some of the music of my parent's generation that I heard and sang to growing up around Christmas time. If you are a part of that generation you’ll find these songs sound a little different – crisper and clearer, thanks to the dynamic range of digital recording. And if knowledge of these songs betray your age, your age matters little. The message of the season is universal and is as old as humanity itself. It is one of good cheer, of peace on earth and goodwill towards others. I hope you enjoy these gems I found on the Internet and with it wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

Dean Martin (Let It Snow)  

Frank Sinatra (Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)  

Sammy Davis (Jingle Bells) 

Nat King Cole (Christmas Song)  

Perry Como (It's beginning to look ...) 

Andy Williams (It's the most wonderful time...)  

Mo Tales, Mommy Tuck

We were at a coffee shop and our food order hadn't yet arrived when Mo's Mom began her tale: "I never got the chance when he was younger but I should have done it a few years ago when I had the opportunity. I wanted to give Mo a surgical procedure that I invented I call the “Mommy Tuck”. Had I been able to do that, my life would be much better today".
 
"You don’t mean the Tummy Tuck do you?", I asked.
 
“Oh no”, she replied. “This is different. It’s a simple in-patient procedure. What you do is you stretch your kid’s lower lip and staple it to your child’s forehead. That way you take away their power to talk back to you and more importantly you can’t see your child’s face. Whenever I see Mo I get nervous like something bad is about to happen”.
 
“This invention came about a few months ago. It started as a really beautiful day – as beautiful as the idea that was born. I was looking forward to that day for months. I had arranged a “girls night-out” with my other girlfriends. There are 6 women in our group and all have problematic kids like Mo. So every now and again we would go on an outing to do other things to make us forget our bad luck. For a few hours every blue moon all the girls in the group get to enjoy the company of likeminded women trying to figure out a way to get back at their problem child. So between dancing and drinking and people watching, we come up with tactics and strategies meant to put our problem child on ice”. “We are even thinking of patenting this invention as the “Problem Kid Mouth Arrest Noose” or PAKMAN for short”.
 
“We were at an Irish Pub that evening having the usual fair of “Corned Beef and Cabbage” and for some reason one of the plates had way too much salt and pepper. When one of my friends bit into the cabbage the nostril gushing surprise made her face pucker so badly that her lower lip actually reached her eyebrows. That was how we came up with idea. We wanted her to do it again but she was never able to unless we used a stapler to hold her lip in place and we just couldn’t do it to her”.
 
“My resolve to develop and perfect the procedure came later that evening when I got home. I was so happy that I was able to get together with the other girls that I was laughing and smiling as I entered the house. The alcohol had yet to wear off that I was tingly inside and was very happy. The lights were turned off against the instructions that I left Mo. It didn’t even occur to me that a terrible surprise was waiting for me. I turned on the light and sitting in the middle of my living room was Mo with a pop-up bed that raised Mo up slowly like an old fashioned horror picture. He was apparently drunk and had two single shot miniature bottles of Jack Daniels plugged in his ears that made him look like a big belly version of Frankenstein. Even the alcohol I drank couldn’t save me from the scary moment that I threw up all the cabbage. I looked like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. What a nightmare! The next morning I started working on this new procedure and I have been looking for the day to get even with Mo”.
 
View Linda Blair throw up in the Exorcist 
View Linda Blair put a fright on a kid (Not Mo) 
View video of patient after procedure 

Marathon or bust!

I showed up at my favorite trail this morning only to discover that it was closed to runners because of the torrential rains we recently experienced. It was a beautiful morning – not too hot and not too cold. I was trying to benchmark my fitness to see how realistic my plan of training for a marathon is. I had to run an alternate route mostly on pavement. It turns out, I am way ahead of my schedule as I was able to do my first 4-Mile run this morning without drama and a lot more to spare. There was a pause on my running for several months because I didn’t have a place to stretch and shower. All that changed after I became a member of the 24 Hours – Agassi Sport Center recently.
 
My self-image is one of a “Trail Runner”. It is one of the few activities that can take me completely away from all of life’s cares. I can put on my shoes and running gear and get lost in nature and be absorbed by meandering thoughts about anything under the sun. Apart from great experiences with mother nature – the smells, the sights and sounds, the trails have also been the place where I have made great friendships. There is a fraternity among runners that is unique and colored by shared physical hardship measured by miles. When passing a runner you know, greetings are usually very short -“How many miles are you doing today?” Because of the closing speed, the few seconds is just enough to shout back the mileage. “I’m doing 8 miles today.” But during long runs in preparation for a marathon it isn’t uncommon for another runner to turn around and run beside you just to make sure you get back all right. Many marathon-training programs require that you run 24 miles three weeks before your event. The biggest challenge is usually staying hydrated; another runner can spot early signs of dehydration (opaque and reddish skin) and could make sure you are drinking water.
 
The next year will bring it’s share of litigation related stress, so I have decided to run the “San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon” the third time this end of May 2009. This is a fun event where the course is lined by bands at every mile performing for your muscle aching amusement. The endorphins and dopamine that flushes through the body during physical exertion is nature’s pain reliever. Much of which will be a welcome partner in my fight. It usually takes 16 weeks to train for the full 26.2 Miles. I was so anxious to get started that I am beginning my training right away – during winter - giving me 6 months.
 
By this time, I am already emotionally hardened that there is nothing that could go wrong that I could not handle. That explains why adding a marathon to the mix just adds to the variety. After experiencing all that I have, I now feel psychologically bulletproof that the fight, though physically strenuous, will be an emotional cakewalk. I am impassioned by my cause and driven by the changes that is surely coming. In a way, my circumstances laud what Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “That which does not break me make me stronger”.
 
Click to view Robert's Training Pictures 
Click to view the Rock and Roll website 

Rain, rain go away ...

The winter months also bring with it the rains. California has been in need of lots of it to make up for less than stellar ski seasons the last couple of years. Last week was the first of perhaps many rain spells that can go on for hours at a time. I was parked at the usual spot I sleep at night and was roused from my sleep at about 3:20 AM and spent the next few hours hoping that it would stop. The tin-top of the car amplifies the sound to a rumble and deafening sound that make it impossible to sleep. My Nikon Coolpix has a video feature that I used to capture the images and the sounds on film. One was shot at 3:20AM and the other at 7:07AM, four hours later and the rains had not let up even one bit.

View video of the rains at 3:20AM 
View video of the rains at 7:07AM 

The Bunker

One of my little victories this year included the acquisition of a very small storage place around the corner from the Aliso Viejo Library. I've been able to store my legal files and usually a week's amount of food within easy access. The convenience of all that is simply priceless.

Aliso Viejo is by far my favorite city in the world and has everything that is important to me including the trails. Unfortunately, it is not the most convenient place relative to my legal work particularly when you have to go to the courthouse or law library in Santa Ana. But, what no other city on earth can claim is that it has two of the most precious people in my life - my two kids. It is very important for me that my kids know, on any given day, I am only a few minutes away. One torturous aspect of my situation, of being homeless, is the fact that I don't have a place of my own to entertain my children. The pictures of myself in front of the "Bunker" was taken by my daughter, Ashley, after she came to see me unannounced at the library. Precious moments like that are few and far between and spent making disclosures about the things that has happened to me since we saw each other last. I took her to the "Bunker" just to show her. 

After Christmas and after I take the HP L7555 out from its box, I will blog about the "Armada" - the tools that I use for my legal battles.

Click to view pictures of the "Bunker" 

Rich & Nina (14th December 2008)

It all began with a telephone message: “Hey, dude. It’s me Rich. I just got this new computer program that teaches me how to become a famous DJ, meet me at the “Oh Baby Club” where I will be broadcasting live for my internet broadcast next Friday. I’ll be playing some 80’s tunes that I know you’ll really love. Don’t call me, just be there at 9PM sharp!”

I was never a club going fanatic myself but was intensely curious about the prospects of watching my friend Rich take command of an entire dance floor. I arrived a little earlier to make sure I get a good vantage point to witness this spectacle we call “Rich”.  There was a voice on the loudspeaker working the crowd. I peered over the large crowd that had already gathered to see who was at the DJ box. It was Rich wearing his hair like an 80’s rocker stiffend by hairspray. The only difference was his voice. It was deeper and more animated – he sounded like a really cool black man. 

DJ RICH: Ah ha, all ya’ll beautiful ladies out there on the floor. I‘ll give you all the funky grooves you can handle tonight. All I want is that you give it to me. I want to see all the bodies moving and sweating and working on the dance floor. I want the temperature rising in here. Do you hear me baby? (Crowd: Yeaaahhh). I said, Do you hear me baby? (Crowd: Yeaaaah) Good, coz Rick James wants you to - Give it to me, baby. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff. Give it to me. Give me that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff.” Click to see video

DJ RICH: All right I see you out there Madonna (pointing to an 80’s Madonna look alike). This was back in the day before you went British on me. Aha, I hear you. Well, we like it when we go United Nations here. Are there any Mexican ladies in the house? (Crowd: Yeaaah) Cool ‘coz I got something for all you beautiful muchachas in the house. Even when things go bad, don’t you ever leave me baby! Coz it will drive me crazy. Like Madonna said don’t even think of crossing the - “Borderline … feels like I’m going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushin’ my love over the borderline. Click to see video 

DJ RICH: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I wanna know if we have some waitresses in the house tonight. (Crowd: Yeaaahh) Cool 'coz I have a song for you ladies for those late nights that I just need a kick in the pants to wake up because of my two jobs. I want ‘ma coffee black and sweet baby. Do you catch my drift, baby? I want you to sweeten me up – so sweet that you’ll never wanna leave. Like Def Leppard said - Pour some sugar on me. Ooh in the name of love. Pour some sugar on me. C’mon fire me up. Pour some sugar onme. Oh I can’t get enough. Click to see video 

DJ RICH: Baby, you know I'll marry you someday. Its just that I haven’t saved up enough money. You know how it is – my two jobs aint cuttin’ it and Christmas is two weeks away. But you know I love you and you know I’ll never leave you. That’s really what I'm about. Just like  Rick Astley said “I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. Click to see video 

DJ RICH: We are going to slow it down a little. I want you all here in the dance floor to be honest with me - so honest that it hurts. Those who are late on their rent and may get evicted, raise your hands (Everyone on the floor raised their hands up). This is for all the hard working people just trying to get ahead. When your lady gets the notice from the landlord saying they will litigate, I want you to think of this songs 'coz even when the times are bad there is always something good like your lady. But you know you’ll get through the hard times. And just tell your lady to stay cool and not leave you because it will mess you up good. Like Bobby McFerrin said – “the landlord said the rent is late and he might have to litigate, Don’t worry. Be Happy.” Click to view video  

DJ RICH: Hey all of you ladies out there. Do you like yelling? (Crowd: Yeaaahh) Hey baby, do you like your man good? (Crowd:Yeaaahh) Do you want him bad? (Crowd: Yeaahh) How about, do you like your man bad like a Rebel? Baby, I know you’ll get all sorts of crazy stuff because yo man’s a DJ. All these ladies all around me all the time. But let me tell you something, when you knock on my door, you know you’re the only one for me baby. I ain't good when you ain't bad to me and I like that nasty stuff when you’re a rebel to me ‘coz like Billy Idol said – in the midnight hour you cried more, more, more. Click to view video  

DJ RICH: Whoooowwweeyy  I am sweating here tonight. I must be out of shape. I want to know if you like to workout baby?  (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) You know baby, we’ll have to do a lot of working out baby? We’ll do everything in the world together. And whatever it is that we’ll find in the future, we’ll crash into it together. Sometimes we’ll run into it together. But most of the time well jump into it together. I want you to know that I am your biggest fan and you are my idol – so come on, jump for me baby. You know you’re my idol. (Crowd: Yeaaahhh) Click to view video 

TO BE CONTINUED

My new Copier/Scanner

Today marks an important day in the history of “Robert’s Justice”. With my meager income as a Pizza Delivery Person, I was able to save up enough money to purchase an All-in-One Printer/Fax/Copier/Scanner from Costco for $205.00 to advance my legal fights. I can now make copies to serve to my opposition without begging and scan documents on to the blog. I have been excited about this day for weeks. I am so thrilled that even the fact that Child Support Services has just garnished 60% of my wages could not put a wet blanket on this day.
 
Months and months of begging Churches and Social Service Offices for photocopies finally took a toll on me. The last time I was turned down, I walked away feeling deeply dejected and absolutely alone in my fight that I made a promise to myself – "never again". I knew I meant it when I bumped into one of the members of the group that had turned me down and found the occasion to ask me, “Is there anything we can do for you?” and I replied politely, “There’s absolutely nothing that you can do for me”. And under my breath I said, “Who in the hell do you think you’re kidding? In fact, for my own amusement, I just exposed your interesting charade”.
 
In the coming weeks, I will bring all my cases to the attention of the "Press”. I want to make sure that all the materials that are relevant or may be of interest are easily accessible to anyone doing research on the cases. The HP 7555 has the capability to scan documents that I can post to my blog. I found a good picture of the HP 7555 on the web and posted it to have our readers see what it looks like. In a future post, I will blog about all the tools that I have in my legal toolkit. I will include pictures of just about everything that I use for my fight. I will also take a picture of the “storage space” that I now call “The Bunker” which I have rigged so I can hang all the suits, clothing and things – in effect my armada.
 
Click to view a picture of the HP 7555 

A Day of Infamy ...

"December 7, 1941 - a day that will live in infamy", were the exact words immortalized by FDR in describing the “Attack on Pearl Harbor”. Exactly 66 years later, (December 7, 2007) I had my own personal day of infamy. It was raining that day and was very cold. That afternoon, the Sheriff’s Department came by to make sure that the “Eviction Order” decreed by the court and initiated by my brother was carried out. All I took with me was what I can carry - my Trek Mountain Bike and backpack full of clothes. The Sheriff’s Deputy was very forceful and stood by the garage to make sure that I left.
 
I felt the rain hit my light raincoat as I pedaled on my bike to leave the gated community I used to live at. All possible accommodations were out of the city and so I had to find shelter fast. That evening, the first night of my homelessness, I took refuge in a "Women’s Restroom", which I chose because it seemed a little cleaner. It was freezing cold that evening because the restroom was made mostly of concrete. I tried keeping my chest off the concrete floor to avoid catching a cold and the only thing I had was a lumpy backpack that would not flatten out. I was balancing my torso on little mound of clothing. Several times I stood up to pace around the restroom to try to get my blood circulating and to stay warm. The noise the rain made was something I will never forget – it was a rumbling, unceasing sound that kept me awake all night.
 
I returned to the house a few days later and had an informal arrangement that allowed me to live in the garage for two months. I had already filed my “Complaint” against my brother and the other Defendants in another court and agreed not to serve it right away. So, for two months I sat on my complaint until I served it in February of 2009. On The 27th of February 2009, the Sheriff’s Department evicted me again. This time, my neighbor across the street, Ty, drove me to a motel and paid for the evening’s stay.
 
I took pictures of the restroom yesterday. I couldn’t enter the Women’s Restroom for obvious reasons so the pictures are of the Men’s Room. But it shows the exact layout of the restroom.
 
Click to view pictures of the Restroom 

Yestradamus 120708

Cloaks and robes of the night’s shade flutter in the wind
Of decision, of contemplation and a wooden hammer
An adornment of mane on two domes unite with a third
Temporarium in proper name and deed.
 

The analysis of the first line of the quatrain leads us to believe that Yestradamus was in his bathrobe while writing this quatrain and was feeling chilly. In those days builders have yet to develop construction techniques that keep the homes insulated from the environment. So, there was probably a draft coming through the house. In the second line, he was trying to decide whether or not he should put some more wood on the fire. This is emphasized by the use of two words “decision” and “contemplation”. The quatrain does not say if he did but knowing the Yesman, we are almost certain he did. And to compensate for the lack of insulation, he was probably having a huge bonfire inside his home.

Based on the second line, there are many images that come to mind when we hear the phrase “two domes”.  At this point, we don’t know what the Yesman was seeing that one cold morning but we can tell he was very much inspired. Because he used the word “third”, we can only suggest that it was probably two pancake stacks about three inches high “adorned” with sweet maple syrup. What can I say, the guy had it good.

The word “temporarium” is a latin word that translates to temporary which is defined by the Merriam Webster as “lasting for a limited time” and was first used circa 1564. We wanted to focus on that number and added it all together, which gave us 7. So the question becomes, what is lasting and has 7 of something? I was thinking and thinking and thinking very hard that my brain was hurting. Then, I remembered an old friend of mine who had the voice of the man in the “7-Up the Uncola Commercial” in the 70’s with the deep Jamaican accent. He used to come on television and do that very jovial laugh – hahahahaha. My friend sounded exactly like that. He annoyed me one time, that’s why we don’t hangout anymore. Every time I asked him a question that is answerable by a yes, he would reply with “Yes, indeed” with that deep Jamaican accent. It wasn’t a yeah, a yup or a aha. It was “yes, indeed”.

One day, we were having a raging party and he just stood up to leave. So I asked him, “Are you leaving, dude?”. All he said was, “yes, indeed”. It made me feel so bad because it sounded so formal and detached. More than that, it made me feel that the party wasn’t good enough for him. In those days the parties lasted for days and nobody ever left. If they had to it wasn’t until the next morning. We had so many parties in college that when I get introduced to someone I ask them “have we partied before?”. Because people were in and out of our apartment, there was this guy who ended up living in our apartment for an entire school year without us even knowing. He wasn’t even a student at the university. We only found this out when the cops brought him back to our apartment one evening and he was claiming that was where he lived. What happened was, he went on a beer run after collecting money from everyone at the party and tried scoring a kegger with a fake ID. It turns out he wasn’t even at the drinking age yet and got busted. Some guy who was so angry at him because he didn’t get his beer decided he was going to retaliate. He gave him a toast and didn’t tell him that he had given the guy his own piss poured in a beer bottle.

Anyway, the lesson Yestradamus is sharing with us has to do with being aware. Assume nothing. Otherwise, you might end up like the guy who thought he was drinking beer but really wasn’t. 

Analyst 147X

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

I convinced myself that it will serve my cause and those in the same predicament that I find myself if I published a picture of myself in the throes of homelessness. My recent employment with the pizza place as a pizza delivery driver gave me enough money to afford a haircut and other things. Ironically, I received a letter from the Social Services Department informing me that my driver's license will be revoked for not paying child support. That's very difficult to comprehend because thus far they have already revoked my Department of Real Estate License for non-payment of child support. Both have the opposite effect intended as it will take away completely my ability to earn a living and care for my children. Well, as I mentioned on previous blogs - I am a Change Agent. Watch what I do next.

Click to view pictures 

The Sleeper

I finally got my Nikon Coolpix 5600 Camera back and was able to take some pictures. The first two pictures were taken an arm’s length away by myself, which explains why they are at very close range. I took this right before my first visit to the 24 Hour Fitness – Agassi Sport Center, after signing up. It was approximately 8AM in Laguna Niguel, CA.
 
The infamous 1999 Chrysler 300M, the subject of this blog's “Day Counter”, is also part of the album for those who are interested in knowing what it might look like. There she is, the very one that keeps me warm and safe at night. She (The Sleeper) will be sitting in a museum some day. 

Click to view the pictures 

Turkey Day Plus Two ...

The weekend was quiet and was spent getting organized for the coming battles ahead. I was able to check off three important things on my “To Do List”. First, I was able to rent a storage unit from Aliso Viejo Self Storage yesterday. It's a small space measuring 5 ft. X 7 ft. - enough for my needs at the present time. Because I have neither a home nor an office, having a place to store the legal documents and files I produce (attorney product) is very helpful. Every file is now within walking distance from the AV Library. Second, I acquired a new mailing address from the UPS Store right in the heart of town. The previous PO Box was in Mission Viejo and was a little out of the way for me. The UPS Store has a wonderful feature where an email is automatically sent to me when a piece of parcel arrives. Lastly, I was able to get a membership at the 24 Hour Fitness – Agassi Sport. It is reputed to be one of the most impressive in the country and is in Laguna Niguel, CA. The day after Thanksgiving, they had a special that was too hard to pass up. I now have a place to shower after my trail runs. Because of my situation, I haven’t been able to do trail runs or mountain bike rides like I used to. This gives me a reason to start a training program again – maybe, a couple of marathons next year in preparation for the 24 Hours of Lemons.
 
The next item on my list is a Multi-Function machine. I'll need it to make my copies, my printing and to scan the filed documents on to the blogspot. I found a couple that I thought could handle my requirements and am currently in negotiations. I am actually excited about the next round of battles. It’s very invigorating for me. The opposition(s) will be surprised by what they will see in the ring this time around. In boxing they call it the “angles” and they’d better be ready because I will take them into deep waters and show them every angle conceivable.
 
I made arrangements to get my camera back from my daughter, Ashley, tomorrow morning. This will give me a chance to give our readers a view of “Robert’s Life”.

My Plymouth Rock

There are a number of facts surrounding the “Thanksgiving Holiday” that are misunderstood. The first and most common relates to when the Pilgrim's first celebrated “Thanksgiving”. It wasn’t upon their arrival on December 11, 1620 that Thanksgiving was first celebrated as is generally thought but actually the next year after the first harvest. The first winter was devastating to the Pilgrims and by the end of the next fall they had lost 46 out of the 102 who sailed on the Mayflower to the New World. The Indians in the region were credited for helping the new settlers survive the harsh conditions that first winter and joined them in the celebrations the next harvest on the day we now call Thanksgiving.
 
The second most common misconception is that the Pilgrims established the first settlement in the New World. There were many other settlements that pre-dated the arrival of the Mayflower. One of the most famous occurred 13 years prior when a group of entrepreneurs and settlers sailed from London and landed in Jamestown, Virginia on May 14, 1607 and established the colony now known as Jamestown (of John Smith and Pocahontas fame). As were the circumstances in the early days, the elements had a harsh hand to play in their story. By 1609, only 60 of the original 214 settlers survived.
 
Part of America's story is about braving the unknown and following one’s dreams. Many who come to the "Land of Opportunity" do so in search of an ideal – generally for the betterment of one’s standing in life. It may be to pursue religious freedom like the Pilgrims or to pursue a business venture, as was the charter for the settlers of Jamestown. Today, the reasons for coming to the America are varied but remain true to the spirit of the early settlers. It could be to pursue a world-class education or simply to see Disneyland and for that matter anything in between. No other country on earth has such a magnetic hold on the imagination.
 
Experiencing what amounts to some of the deepest and darkest crevices of my life, I still have many things to be grateful for. Even at my lowest, I am comforted by the knowledge that I live in the greatest country ever conceived by man. I brave the future knowing that my experiences are transitive and after the proverbial winter, I will emerge even better, stronger and wiser.
 
I am a first generation immigrant. My Plymouth Rock is a city called Laguna Niguel where I awoke the next morning after arriving in 1981. A month later I left America and didn’t return until 1983. About 4 years ago, I wrote about my experiences as an immigrant relying solely on my memory of that trip some 27 years ago. The mind is a fickle creature and may have been selective in remembering details clouded by the passage of time. Nevertheless, certain feelings remain to this day and have been the source of some of my wildest dreams and aspirations. I haven’t revised it since I last wrote it as I felt it captured the feelings when I first penned the essay some 4 years ago.
 
MY PLYMOUTH ROCK   
 
Happy Thanksgiving everyone …

Mo Tales, The Bats

It was at a café that I met Mo’s Mom one pleasant evening. It was dinner time and we were surrounded by great cheer. There were families and children having moments of familial joy – talking, joking and laughing. But all that - the music, the lighting and jolly servants could not get her in a merry mood. It wasn’t soon after we sat when the stories of Mo started. I could tell it has been bothering her for a while because all the stories about Mo are so full of details as if she had gone through it in her mind over and over and over again. And thus, the story began:

“Mo is such a bad boy", she grumbled with a shaky voice. "He has been the cause of some of the most painful embarrassments of my life. There is only one reason why his school would call me into the Principal’s Office and it is never to get an award for nice things like a normal mother. I’ve been called in a few times before but there was one time in particular that stood out. When I wrote about it in my diary years later, I called it the “Bat Incident”. Believe me, not many things can give me the kind of goose bumps that a call from the Principals Office can. When something bad happens, it’s usually something that Mo did to another person. But a call from school means that he did something bad to other children. And that’s enough to give me knots in my stomach”.

“When I arrived at the school, I was met with strange and ominous stares from the schoolchildren. There were also whispers. “Is that Mo’s Mom, where’s her broom?” “She doesn’t look like a witch.” “She must have hidden her broom and witch hat outside”.”

“His teacher, Mrs. Adams, met me at the Principal’s Office and we soon found ourselves in the conference room. After the pleasantries, the bad news started. Mrs. Adams told me about a school project that went terribly bad”. With a restrained voice masking anger, she began to tell me, "About a week ago, we had an art project and we had the kids making origami. Because he was sitting in the back, the art teacher didn’t see what Mo was making. While other kids were making the usual paper animals – cranes, fishes, animals, flowers and other interesting things, Mo was making Vampire Bats. But it wasn’t what he was making that caused the uproar; it was what he did with it. When the Art Teacher was called away, Mo took the classroom over like a military junta and had all the girls line up. He then demanded all of them to wear his Vampire Bat origami as earrings. He then took a baseball bat and with a loud thunderous swing at one of the desks threatened to inflict physical harm if they remove the vampire bats from their ears”.

“Come with me, please, and I will show you what I mean", Mrs. Adams said as she showed me the way. We then walked to the classroom not far from the Principals Office. Not knowing what to expect gave the short quiet walk the feeling of a person on her way to the electric chair. I remember thinking that there are only a few mothers on this earth who could end up with a child like this and I don’t know what I ever did to deserve having a child like Mo”.

“We then sat at the teacher’s desk at the front of the class, facing all the students. There were about 10 girls who were lined up in a row sitting beside each other. The girls all had long and sad faces almost at the verge of tears – almost shaking from fear. All of them had vampire bats dangling from their ears upside down. Their faces looked like stalactites in a cave with bats sleeping on them. I thought I was on a nature tour of some underground cave with bats living in it”.

The story didn’t have to continue any further. The image of bats on the side of teenager’s faces was a lot to take in – at least until the next time I take her out for another night out on the town. Until then, I could only wonder what other Mo Tales she will regale me with.  

Road House

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “Road House” as “an inn or tavern usually outside city limits providing liquor and usually meals, dancing and gambling.” The word was reportedly first used in 1857. Since the year is now 2008, I offer a new definition that is more appropriate for our times and economic conditions. “Road House: an automobile, truck or any land based vehicle that is used as a dwelling.” Example: “Robert is road housing in his ’99 Chrysler 300M.”

On the right of this blog is a counter that shows how many days I have been living in my car. There are two reasons why I added that feature. At some point, any number of my cases will eventually go to trial. In the hands of the jury will be the vexing question, “How should I award Robert for all the appalling things that were perpetrated on him?” I pondered that myself and found it very difficult to answer, thus explaining why none of my complaints ask for any amount, instead deferring the decision to the jury. During closing arguments I will try to frame that question by asking the jury a hypothetical question. “If you were approached by someone who offered you a job to be a depraved, hungry and suffering homeless person 24 hours a day for one month, how would you like to be compensated? And if you find that experience atrocious, what would you do to prevent that from happening again - to you or anyone else?" Then, I would ask them to look at my counter and consider how many weeks, months or years I’ve been doing it for, all because of the malicious actions of the Defendants.

The second reason I created a day counter is to make sure I remain furious. Somehow, it is much easier to go through my struggles while in a state of anger. One of my favorite Track & Field coaches, Pat Tyson, once said, “Dwell on the positive but have controlled passionate anger.” Of course, he said that in the context of competitive running but that quote applies well to my situation. The day counter shows the length of time it has taken for me to get my life back, if at all. I am outraged by the lack of a simple way to address legal disputes that I wonder why people aren’t yelling at the top of their lungs demanding change. 

Many of the situations discussed on my blog are things that are experienced by ordinary, decent and hardworking individuals across this country everyday. Because of economic, emotional and/or other reasons, most are not disposed to filing an expensive lawsuit. Instead, they take a more practical alternative and accept the fact that institutions and laws tasked to protect them are simply inadequate. I wish to give them a voice – a loud booming voice – one that will reverberate all the way to the doorsteps of our nation’s leaders.

Rich & Nina (14th November 2008)

I had some down time one afternoon and took the rare opportunity to visit a pet store in town. I’ve always been fascinated with animals and was curious to find out what the store had. I came around the fish section and was inspecting the variety of fishes when on the other side, his face distorted by the aquarium full of water and the wandering fishes was the unmistakable face of Rich. Having recognized me, he came around to greet me.

“Dude, you wont believe what kinds of deals I have here in my basket", he said while stretching the basket to within inches of my face. I looked in the basket and saw an assortment of pet products that included grooming items like hairbrushes, combs and dog hair care products.

“I didn’t know that you had a pet.”

“Oh no, these are for my own personal use.”

A tiny voice in my head popped out of nowhere screaming the John McEnroe-esque, “You cannot be serious”. So, I just had to ask the obvious. “What do you mean these are for you?”

“I am trying to pinch my pennies so I could save money. You know that old saying that a man of wealth and means is candy to the eyes of women. I know the more money I have, the more attractive I will be to Nina. I am saving a lot of money by shopping wisely. I will be irresistible to her in no time."

“Not if you are going to use dog shampoo to wash your head with.”

“Oh no, I make a cocktail with this – half human shampoo and half dog shampoo to save money. And I still get the same hair-dried fluffy look.”

“That explains the bouffant hairdo that you are wearing.”

“Yeah, isn’t it cool looking?", brushing his hair with the dog brush. "There is something in the dog shampoo that does that and it saves me a trip to the hair salon – again saving me money. You know, if I was an animal, I would be a dog. They are loyal, fiercely protective of their master and they like having a lot of fun except when they have an accident now and again. Then, they have that puppy face. I know girls like that. I heard someone say once that a dog has only one purpose in life. And that is to bestow its heart. I’m trying to get in character for my Nina. Actors use method acting to copy a character that they are portraying. I’m trying to think like a dog so I can bestow my heart on Nina. She’s going to be so happy that she’ll think she’s in doggie heaven.”

“Let’s sit down over here”, he said while pointing at a waiting-bench. “I have to scratch my ears.”

“Why, you can’t scratch it standing up?”

“No, you silly! You know a dog scratches his ears with his legs. How can I do that if I’m standing up?” He then sat down and proceeded to furiously scratch his right ear with his right foot. It looked like he was slapping his earlobes with his shoe repeatedly. Shock was not a word precise enough to describe what I felt. I thought I was in a David Letterman segment of “Stupid Human and Pet Tricks”. The only difference was that he was both things - the human and the pet.

Beyond Belief.

Website Improvements

We have just moved to our new home on the web. As a result, certain links may not have migrated properly and may still be pointed to old web pages. We are aware of the error messages and are making appropriate corrections. 

The “Robert’s Justice” site is currently being reconfigured in advance of a national advertising campaign with our sponsors. In addition, a number of new features are being added to make information easier to access for our readers. The new changes are necessary to make the site more robust and responsive to the needs of our viewers in the future. Here’s a partial list of the new features being integrated:

1. Posting of actual filed court documents from myself and my opposition.
2. Real-time rulings on "Law and Motion" and other hearings.
3. An up to the minute court calendar for my court appearances.

Thank you for your patience. I could not continue this fight without all your support.

All the best,

Robert Lacambra

The Haircut

The inevitable haircut finally came a week ago. The last time I had a haircut was in May and so by the time I went to see my barber Gopal, I already looked like a longhaired bum/hermit. In the twenty-five years that I have known him there were only two occasions when someone else cut my hair, once when I moved and the other time when I was in the UK. So, that was the first time he saw my hair that long. I took a picture of myself before the haircut and thought it best to keep it private. Hideous is the word to describe the image. But, I’ll be posting pictures sporting my new haircut in the next few days. I want to include my children in the photo sessions, as my fight is also a fight about their future.

The reaction from the people who for months saw me around town with the long hair was rather interesting. I got a lot of compliments and words of encouragement urging me on with my fight. One lady bookseller at Barnes & Noble even said that by the way I look, verdicts will certainly be handed down in my favor. An acquaintance that I knew before my adventures failed to recognize me more than once until I had my haircut. One librarian, who I thought was funny said, “you’ll definitely be able to fool the jury”. Off course, she was being facetious. I think what she meant was, the jury will be more receptive to my message because my haircut makes me look competent. 

Appearances count for much in our society. That is why it is important to present your best self every moment it is practicable. If you are not able to speak to the person observing you, the only impression that could be made about you is based solely on your appearance. People have latent prejudices based on any number of things. And we are largely averse to unwholesome images and situations, particularly on the issue of homelessness. Granted, there are many people who are living on the streets because of their own failure to develop life skills. But, I would wager that if we were to get a homeless person and give him or her a makeover like we see on television shows, they’d be able to get a job. Whether they keep the job is another issue entirely. Some of these homeless individuals reject responsibility and do so proudly. “Why would I pay rent when they could live outdoors?”, they ask me. I’m studying this interesting puzzle and will be posting some of my ideas in the future.

Yestradamus 110708

The mirth of sand in a land of desolation

footprints to the distance from a beast of burden

the seasons of fire and ice

of smoldering clouds and rings of smoke

The word mirth is synonymous to the words happiness, pleasure and joy. Having gone to every corner of this earth, I can tell you that there is only one thing that can be happy in any desert. It is no other than the very durable and way cool looking animal we know as the Camel. Someone once said, “A Camel is a horse that was made by committee.” Along those lines, I can’t think of a committee that is more impressive than the Three Stooges - Manny, Moe and Curly.  Can you? I’m not saying the Three Stooges invented the Camel, but it comes pretty close. Did you see how those three guys punch each other in the face all the time and still come out OK on the next episode? If they were to create an animal it would be certainly as rugged as their faces like the Camel. 

In any event, this reminds me of a trip I once made to the Middle East. Because of a bad deal, I ended up with the short end of the stick – a curse, even. There are some curses that are regional in effect. For instance, if you’re in California and someone were to try to cast a spell on you by saying, “May the fleas of a thousand Camels find your tent”, you know you don’t have to worry about it because we don’t have Camels in California. That’s a no-brainer. But it’s a different story altogether if you are in a Middle Eastern dessert and you have a business deal that went south. That’s when you start worrying about the curse of the itchy fleas. One flea can do some damage, but a thousand of them – watch out.

I was trying to cut a deal with this merchant at a bazaar to purchase some knickknacks. I heard through a local contact that he can get me a pretty good deal on some Rolex watches and arranged to purchase a half dozen to add to my collection. For precaution, I looked at the bottom of the watches and the darn thing said it was “Made in China”. I told the guy, “Hey, there ain’t no Rolex factories in China, dude”. He said that there was because he was there himself as a V.I.P. Guest and even said “I swear to God”.  I told him that I didn’t believe him one bit. That’s when all hell broke loose. Next thing I know, I was confronted by a pissed off group comprised of three generations of his family and that’s when I got the flea curse. Those tiny buggers were waiting for me in my motel room. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming for some itch medication but nobody spoke English. By the time the flea attack was over, I basically looked like and felt like a leper.

Anyway, in the last two lines we see the words “fire”, “smoldering clouds” and “rings of smoke”. All that the Yestradamus needed to add on there was a paying customer at a local liquor store and you’ll have yourself a smoker with a bad smoker’s cough in the morning. Which, once again, brings us back to the Camel because if I was a smoker, I’d probably smoke Camels too – it’s cheaper.

What Yestradamus is trying to tell us is if you are itching (fleas) for a cigarette (Camel), don’t do it. Give the temptation some time (Rolex) to disappear on its own. If it persists, try to watch oldies and goodies comedy shows (Three Stooges) – it might entertain you long enough to forget you want to have a cigarette. Because, if you don’t and you are not able to control the urge, you might just check out a little earlier than you had initially planned (God). 

(Analyst 147X)

Congratulations Pres.-elect Obama

I was at the pizza place working when President-elect Obama was announced on CNN as the next leader of our country and of the free world. The results were so lopsided that the message was loud and clear. Americans want a new direction for our country.

My political convictions make me a staunch Republican. But as an immigrant, I cannot be any more proud of this great nation. The land that produced Abraham Lincoln bore for its history the highest ideal by elevating to its highest office a person of color.

Congratulations President-elect Barack Obama.

Two Birds with One Stone ...

Out of necessity, I’ve developed “multi-tasking” skills that are simply par to none. My needs have become so unwieldy that strategic use of resources and time has become almost second nature. Currently, I have a long list of items on my “Needs List” that I’ve been acquiring one by one over time. Sometimes, I’m fortunate enough to be able to get my hands around something that serves more than one purpose. On an earlier blog, I shared one of my dreams of campaigning in the 24 Hours of Le Mans with equipment powered by Hydrogen (THE BLOG  ). On another blog I have called “Hydrogen Lacambra”, I announced my plans to assemble a team of amateurs to start campaigning in endurance races beginning next year (THE BLOG ). All the things required for that project falls under a section of my needs list called "Zero-Emissions". 

Another critical item on my needs list is an acceptable place to conduct all my depositions in the future. The "Deposition " is usually the scourge of the law profession and a gift to abusive lawyers, as it becomes the tool in which deponents are badgered or verbally assaulted. Offending lawyers use depositions as a weapon to exact the most amount of inconvenience and embarrassment by questioning a deponent about their personal lives.

The Danish Philosopher Kierkegaard once said, “Our life expresses the results of our dominant thoughts”. The most dominant thoughts swirling in my head usually centers around the search for two things. First, the tools I need to advance my legal battles. And second, things that are recreational and that give me balance in my life. I came upon an opportunity to fulfill both needs recently. As of yesterday, I joined the ranks of the few, the proud and the essential corps of individuals who deliver pizza to your doorsteps. Litigation has gotten very expensive that I had to take a part-time job so I can pay for all the document production and photocopying. What that means is that I can now start putting in some valuable seat time preparing for endurance races in the coming year in a racecar that doubles as a pizza delivery car. At the same time, I found the perfect place to hold my depositions. It will be no place other than a “Pizza Parlor”. The pizza will be on me because we’ll be there the whole day. As a litigator, I am allowed up to 7 hours of questioning per day. I’ll even supply the free soda.

Those buffoons have no idea what they have coming – those Shandy drinking killjoys!

Disclaimer:

Robert does not break any of the traffic laws in the city in which he delivers. He merely practices the Le Mans starts by running to the car when he begins his delivery and when leaving the patron's house.