There was an email waiting for me on my laptop when I got home. The email was from Rich and said, “Meet me at the Bean Cafe tonight. I want to show you something I’m doing that I hope will get me an appearance on the David Letterman Show. I’ll be there at 7PM".
We all want to root for the underdog and I was wishing Rich all the best in his endeavor. By now, I’ve come to learn that he will do just about anything to win the heart of his Nina that I was certain it had something to do with her. Driving to meet him, I was trying to guess what stunt he had in mind. I hadn’t even sat down yet when he showed me what he was writing. It read:
We all want to root for the underdog and I was wishing Rich all the best in his endeavor. By now, I’ve come to learn that he will do just about anything to win the heart of his Nina that I was certain it had something to do with her. Driving to meet him, I was trying to guess what stunt he had in mind. I hadn’t even sat down yet when he showed me what he was writing. It read:
Top 10 things that lets you know that you are madly in love with Nina.
- You become a Sushi Master Chef and create a menu of delectable plates that include the “Rich & Nina Party Platter”, the “Nina Spicy Roll”, the “Rich’s Special Sashimi” and my personal favorite the “Wowie-Wowie”.
- You purchase a remote island and using your finely honed political skills you convince local officials that making it your own country was in their best interest. Then, you create a principality, install yourself as its sovereign, and call her “Her Royal Highness Princess Nina”.
- You pretend that you are the Godfather and decked in full Mafioso regalia and accompanied by goons, you practice the line “Hand Nina over and nobody gets hurt. You don’t want me to make you an offer you can’t refuse”.
- You wake up in the morning laughing and very happy inside. Without warning you start singing, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” even though it’s only the middle of February.
- You assemble a group of Navy Seals and Special Forces operators and do a HALO (High Altitude Low Opening) Parachute Jump into Hollywood at night. Under the cloak of darkness you change the Hollywood sign to say “Nina’s Wood”.
That didn’t seem to make sense, I thought to myself. He just said that his mind short-circuits when he thinks of Nina. I look at what he wrote and it’s all about Nina. I suppose love makes a man a little nuts up there. If I were to try to explain what he just said to someone else, they’ll think I’m more than a little brain damaged, too. So, I just kept quiet and observed him.
He had five straws in his mouth and looking particularly silly that I had to ask. “What’s with the straws in your mouth?” Looking up from his notes, he replied, “This is my way of keeping a deadline on myself, like a journalist. This morning I started with ten of them stuffed in my mouth. Now its down to five. Every time I add to the list, I throw one away. That’s pressure.” Then, he leaned over to put the straws in his coffee cup and made a loud slurpy sound – half coffee and half air went up his wind pipe causing him to cough through the straws creating a messy water show ala Bellagio in Las Vegas.
TO BE CONTINUED
