Church Donations Down 20%

Even OC’s "Houses of Worship" are not immune to the economic downturn. Usually one of the first places families reach out to for assistance during times of need, a number of churches have reduced certain programs and have even cut back on their staff.

CLICK TO READ ARTICLE 

Mo Tales, Mommy Tuck (Redux)

On a previous episode of Mo Tales, we featured a story called “Mommy Tuck”. Just recently, we found a short video descriptive of that surgical procedure. But before you watch the video at the bottom, read the episode so you have context.

Click to read Mo Tales, Mommy Tuck 

View video of patient after procedure 

Road Housing Tip #1

SOUP OVER HOT RICE AND TEA
 
If you are “Road Housing” – living in your car, that is – it’s probably safe to assume that you have no kitchen to prepare hot food with. So, if you want a hot meal that is cheap, one thing that you can do is purchase a serving or two of fresh hot rice from a local Asian Restaurant, pour whatever canned food you have over it and viola! You just created for yourself a delicious medley of rice and whatever flavor you picked.
 
I started doing this recently because unheated canned goods in winter is very rough on the stomach. By pouring it over hot rice you prevent annoying stomach problems. In the picture attached, I poured “Beef and Potatoes” over the hot rice. It is usually accompanied by tea because I find coffee to be too acidic for my stomach. And because Road Housing also means you never get a full night’s sleep, you need caffeine in some form to just keep you awake during the day.
 
Costco sells the Progresso Soup in bundles of 8 for $10 each. The Tejava costs $1.50 per bottle at most any supermarket in California. And a double serving of rice will cost you $3.00. I usually have this combination for lunch and dinner for a total cost of $2.88 per meal. Not bad at all.
 
CLICK TO VIEW ROBERT'S HOT MEAL 

Crystal Cathedral Suicide

A homeless man walked in the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, CA this Wednesday morning, gave the greeter a note and then shot himself in the head. The authorities are not clear if he was ever treated for mental illness by local hospitals because laws prevent an institution from disclosing personal information. There are no answers as to why he picked the Crystal Cathedral to end his life but another man who committed suicide at a Police Parking Lot in Cerritos, CA this Tuesday said in a note that he picked the parking lot to make sure that the gun did not fall in the wrong hands.

Considering the bleak economic forecasts, is there a wave of suicides in the horizon? If so, what can be done to prevent this from happening?


CLICK TO READ ARTICLE OF CATHEDRAL SUICIDE 
CLICK TO READ ARTICLE OF POLICE LOT SUICIDE 

MISSING CHILD ALERT

Robert’s Justice has just received information about a missing person reported last Friday. The missing person's name is Amber Leeanne Dubois (14 yrs old) and was last seen on her way to Escondido High School, in the County of San Diego. For more information about Amber Leeanne, please click on the link below. We also urge our readers to forward this alert via email so her picture gets out to the public.

 
www.amberleeannedubois.com 

Rich & Nina (14th February 2009)

There was an email waiting for me on my laptop when I got home. The email was from Rich and said, “Meet me at the Bean Cafe tonight. I want to show you something I’m doing that I hope will get me an appearance on the David Letterman Show. I’ll be there at 7PM".

We all want to root for the underdog and I was wishing Rich all the best in his endeavor. By now, I’ve come to learn that he will do just about anything to win the heart of his Nina that I was certain it had something to do with her. Driving to meet him, I was trying to guess what stunt he had in mind. I hadn’t even sat down yet when he showed me what he was writing. It read:

Top 10 things that lets you know that you are madly in love with Nina.

1. You become a Sushi Master Chef and create a menu of delectable plates that include the “Rich & Nina Party Platter”, the “Nina Spicy Roll”, the “Rich’s Special Sashimi” and my personal favorite the “Wowie-Wowie”.
   
2. You purchase a remote island and using your finely honed political skills you convince local officials that making it your own country was in their best interest. Then, you create a principality, install yourself as its sovereign, and call her “Her Royal Highness Princess Nina”.
   
3. You pretend that you are the Godfather and decked in full Mafioso regalia and accompanied by goons, you practice the line “Hand Nina over and nobody gets hurt. You don’t want me to make you an offer you can’t refuse”.
   
4. You wake up in the morning laughing and very happy inside. Without warning you start singing, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” even though it’s only the middle of February.
   
5. You assemble a group of Navy Seals and Special Forces operators and do a HALO (High Altitude Low Opening) Parachute Jump into Hollywood at night. Under the cloak of darkness you change the Hollywood sign to say “Nina’s Wood”.

“There’s only five of them here. Where’s the other five?”, I asked. “Oh, its coming. It’s stuck in my head and does not want to come out. I’m distracted with thoughts of my beautiful Nina that I had to stop. I have Nina moments and when that happens everything stops like my mind just gets short circuited”, he explained.

That didn’t seem to make sense, I thought to myself. He just said that his mind short-circuits when he thinks of Nina. I look at what he wrote and it’s all about Nina. I suppose love makes a man a little nuts up there. If I were to try to explain what he just said to someone else, they’ll think I’m more than a little brain damaged, too. So, I just kept quiet and observed him.

He had five straws in his mouth and looking particularly silly that I had to ask. “What’s with the straws in your mouth?” Looking up from his notes, he replied, “This is my way of keeping a deadline on myself, like a journalist. This morning I started with ten of them stuffed in my mouth. Now its down to five. Every time I add to the list, I throw one away. That’s pressure.” Then, he leaned over to put the straws in his coffee cup and made a loud slurpy sound – half coffee and half air went up his wind pipe causing him to cough through the straws creating a messy water show ala Bellagio in Las Vegas.

TO BE CONTINUED

Stolen Truck?

Here’s a clip courtesy of the Laguna Beach Police Department that responded to a stolen vehicle report on the evening of Sunday the 8th of February. The owner of the truck enters the 7-Eleven to purchase soda and leaves the engine idling. When he returns, he discovers his truck is missing. You wouldn’t believe what happened to the truck.
 
VIEW CLIP OF DISAPPEARING TRUCK 

Yestradamus 020709

The canine shall travel a great distance to prepare for a task

The clime of the grounds will bring about a change

It shall be a journey of the heart, the mind and soul

Only many changes of the season shall bring his return

This is a tough quatrain to crack because it uses the word canine followed by the word “the”. In some of the most interesting decoding assignments I’ve ever done, the word “the” is usually sandwiched by a double noun such as Richard the Lion Heart, Edward the Confessor or George the Sixth. Clearly we are looking for a dog. Of what breed or from where we have yet to determine. So, this search is in effect a fill in the blank exercise. The question is what word is most appropriate for the blank in - _______ the Canine?

It reminds me of an operation I was involved in some years back. There was a warehouse that was supposed to be housing some contraband. So, I was hired on to investigate and assist two other individuals that turned out to be a couple of amateurs. As a rule of thumb, when you see a warning sign at a property you are about to enter without permission, the nastier the warning the safer it is. Of course, there are exceptions. I found that a sign that said “We respond with deadly force” means there may be some guns involved but nobody knows how to properly use it. So when I saw the sign that said this, I didn’t know what to expect:

BEWARE OF THE VICIOUS DOG

IF YOU DON’T LISTEN, GET READY

YOU’LL LOSE A CHUNK OF YOUR ASS

It was enough to make me take notice, but I knew we had to get in somehow so we can find out what was going on. The wall that we had to scale was about two stories high and reminded me of a walled city with clusters of structures inside four walls. We chose to jump the wall after midnight to make sure we had the advantage of darkness. Also, around that time, the guards are usually pretty tired. So, after donning black clothing and black face paint, we were off with our scaling equipment.

It started off well until we finally landed on the other side. And that’s when the ugliness hit the fan. Usually, when dogs are guarding a perimeter, there are warning sounds like barking – loud boisterous barking. Sometimes it gives you enough time to get away, and sometimes it doesn’t. It turns out that my two other companions had forgotten the sign about the vicious dog. We didn’t know it at the time but the dog involved was the quiet type who would sneak up on you like a Ninja, maul you and then bark after just to let you know he got you. The one guy in the group was the first to surrender a sizable part of his posterior. He actually yelled out with a pathetic OUCHIE before the dog even let out a bark. The flesh that the dog detached from this guy was enough to keep it busy for a few seconds – long enough for us to run away. I made sure I went the opposite way – away from other two guys. When I finally got on the wall and turned back to look, I saw both guys up on a tree like a Totem Pole with one guy’s ass on top of the other’s head. Underneath was the dog waiting for them to make the wrong move. I thought it was pretty wacky.

In this quatrain, Yestradamus warns against having the wrong team. These two guys were the perfect example of what not to bring on an operation. I was real lucky the dog got to someone else before it got to me. Otherwise, I’d be walking with a deep crater on my butt and that wouldn’t be right.

(Analyst 147X)

Someone's car is on fire!

Roy and I had just concluded our meeting when a man stood by the entrance of the library and announced in a frantic voice that a car parked right in front was on fire. We were already on our way out but the announcement made us walk a little faster. And there it was by the Handicapped Parking right in front of the library - Roy’s car spewing smoke from the driver's side window. Just an hour ago we were in the very same car chasing down some documents for the case that were putting together. Seeing the very car you were in turning into a smokey mess was more than disturbing. 

We got to the car in a flash and found the door panel being consumed by fire. He tried to put it out with a piece of cloth. Instinctively, I knew it was an electrical fire and so I ran to the library to get the fire extinguisher. “Tim, where’s the fire extinguisher?” I asked the Head Librarian. Tim grabbed the red life saving bottle encased in a glass by the entrance and handed it to me. The fire was not at all that big, it just appeared that way because of the smoke from the plastic, carpet and the other materials that made up the door panel. Two or three blasts were all it took and the fire was out. 
 
The attached video was taken a few minutes after the fire company arrived and the flame was already extinguished. Roy is the gentleman speaking with the Fireman at the end of the clip.
 
VIEW CLIP OF ROY'S CAR AFTER THE FIRE 

Retirees Angered by Board

Robert’s Justice recently acquired documents that confirm allegations of mismanagement by the governing body of the retirement community Laguna Woods Village, previously called Leisure World. The document was a letter tendered by the Law Office of Crowell & Moring to the Office of the Attorney General of the State of California seeking assistance in investigating the matter. The letter alleged that the governing body, together with its partners, are or were in the process of selling properties that belong to the retirees in a manner that violates the governing documents. One particular member of the community - our friend Roy - did express concerns of the possibility that the revenues generated from this and other sales are being moved to various trust accounts to avoid oversight, effectively separating the money from it’s intended beneficiaries – the retirees. The letter also said the following: 

The residents believe that these problems are merely the tip of the iceberg, but my clients and the other members lack the resources to fund an adequate investigation of the community themselves.

The letter also mentioned two previous OC Register articles that reported allegations of mismanagement and other improprieties which we now feature on this blog.

VIEW THE CROWELL & MORING LETTER
VIEW THE OC REGISTER ARTICLE (1)
VIEW THE OC REGISTER ARTICLE (2) 

Opposition Counsel(s) Beware

We have been searching for a way to post court related documents on the Robert's Justice blog. Our wishes were finally realized yesterday when we discovered SCRIBD - an internet document publisher. Since most, if not all the cases, are now in the process of being transfered or re-filed at the US Courts (Federal Jurisdiction), we thought that we would do a test publication of documents. Appropriately, we chose to publish the US Courts - Local Rules of Court for the Southern California District to showcase the technology. We also wish to let our opposition(s) know that the posting of rules is being done for their benefit. Infractions of any rules in the US Courts will not be tolerated and will be dealt with by ROBERT in the most aggressive manner possible, including seeking sanctions and when permissible adding the offending lawyer(s) as a Defendant. So far, two lawyers and their firms are or will be subjects of legal action, making the number of attorneys sued or will be sued by ROBERT three in total. (Those shandy drinking killjoys!)

We hope our readers enjoy the next round of battles.

CLICK TO VIEW PDF OF US COURTS - RULES OF COURT